Friday, April 23, 2010
portfolio
i think that my strongest that i will be putting in my portfolio is the essay about McCandless. i feel it is a really good paper because i make a very strong argument for chris chasing after his dream. I emphasize that McCandless has a desire to live free. i use examples of imagery and peaceful places to show to my reader that the place that he was at was a se-real experience. the next step i need to take for this paper is to go deeper. i leave my main points unclear. For example, i mention how there are many of people how are obese in our country and are very lazy. i need to go deeper into why is is such a bad thing and why chris is a better person for getting out and being adventurous. My paper has a lot of potential, i just need to go deeper and organize it better. it does not flow very well. cleaning it up shouldn't be to hard, as long as i sick to my core ideas. the paper that i think need the most work is my research paper. my research is only 3 pages long and it doesnt have a lot of research in it so far. i think that i have a good start, but some things that need to be improved are: organization, research, and a naysayer. the naysayer will come with a lot more research and time put in. on a positive note, i feel like i have a really good start. my paper has a lot of potential if i just put the research in.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Even though I have a different view about McCandless then you, I believe your paper could have potential and you could possibly have a good argument. However, when reading your essay it did not flow well. I was confused about what you were trying to argue. If you make your argument clear and elaborate on the quotes that support your argument then you will have a stronger paper. Finally, I agree that you need to make your main points clear. I currently have not read your research paper, but it sounds like you have a lot to do. I agree in order to improve your paper you should definitely focus on organization, research, and the naysayers. Overall to improve all your papers you should think about: am i being specific, why is this quote important to my argument, and does my paper flow easily? Finally, make sure to use credible sources because that will make your argument stronger in the end too. If you can do all of this then you will have a strong paper.
ReplyDelete